How To Pair Wine With Your Kids' Stolen Halloween Candies
Stealing your kids' candy makes you a creep; pairing it with wine makes you a sophisticated creep.
First off: you're helping the little so-and-sos from eating too much candy so don't beat yourself up. Secondly, we're going to make this a practical guide. That means, notwithstanding that Sherry, Madeira and Port are going to pair best with a whole slew of the candy, we appreciate that they're not the popular tipples they used to be so, as good as they are, we'll try to find more real-world options for you.
The Treat: Hershey's Milk Chocolate, Dairy Milk
The Wine: Here's where a nice sweet wine would come in handy, but a red wine that has ample fruit, some heft (no French Pinot or Gamay) and hopefully lighter tannins might sub in nicely as well. Syrah, Zinfandel or a rich Pinot should work.
The Bottle: Vanessa Vineyards 2015 Syrah $35, a wallop of fruit that will stand up to that bar!
The Treat: Sour Patch Kids
The Wine: Tartness covered in sugar is a trick, but if you think of a wine that also has tartness but some juicy fruit as well, what comes to mind? Maybe New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc?
The Bottle:Yealands Estate Sauvignon Blanc 2017 $20, fresh acid, citrus zest and juicy fruit.
The Treat: Lay's Potato Chips
The Wine: Now we're in slam-dunk territory. Any sort of dry sparkling will shine here, but I'm going for the Chandon because it delivers a a well-scrubbed profile of juicy citrus that plays off nicely against the fat in the chips, and Sonoma is on fire right now—so we should send some love any way we can.
The Bottle: Chandon Brut, $30, a well-p-1riced sparkler from Cali.
The Treat: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
The Wine Ok, I'm going to cheat a bit because this is a freakin' hard pairing. But I'm going to go local, because it's easy to source and a smoking deal and Foch, in the hands of the Valley's master, Quails' Gate, is just dark, quirky and full of vanilla and cherry that it might be a bit of a secret weapon in candy pairing.
The Bottle:Quails' Gate Old Vines Foch $26, an amazing-2 oddball
The Treat: Hawkins Cheezies
The Wine: You know what goes with Hawkins? Everything because they, not Tim Hortons, are the true taste of the Great White North. And frankly they're pretty easy to pair: any nice high-acid white will do the trick.
The Bottle: Road 13 Sparkling Chenin 2015 $40 is pricey, but not really. Bottle age, the essence of life bottled, you know.
The Treat: Red Nibs or Twizzlers
The Wine: Lambrusco. This is sort of a cheat, because next to the sweeties, Italian sparkling red Lambrusco may be the most versatile food wine out there with frequent notes of tart cherries, blackberries and rasp-1berries.
The Bottle: Medici Ermite Concerto 2017 $20, a steal of a deal