Back in 2016, we conducted VanMag’s most scandalous survey: Where Vancouverites Like to Have Sex in Public. Unsurprisingly, it skyrocketed to become one of the most-read stories on our website, and remains there to this day. But much has changed since 2016—Royals have married and died, “Taylor’s version” exists, we’re all universally triggered by the word pivot. Have our public sex lives changed, too? Are people still getting down and (most definitely) dirty in the alley behind the Blarney Stone?
Thanks to you, we have the answers. Our 2022 public sex survey was done via a series of Instagram polls, so we can’t claim that it’s representative of the population of Vancouver, or that it really states any definitive facts about sex or the city. We can’t even claim that those who answered were telling the truth (which is true of any survey, #staycritical). What we can say for sure is that the results are interesting, hilarious and a little bit scarring. Read with care.
Basic Stats on Public Sex in Vancouver
Of the almost 900 people surveyed, 40% have had sex in public.
A grand total of 893 people answered our Instagram poll, and 359 of them claimed to have done the deed in a public place. (For the record, this poll was “seen” by 4,639 accounts total, so lots of people who saw the survey were too boring or worried about their privacy to answer it).
25% of those surveyed said they have had sex in a public park in Vancouver.
652 people answered the multiple choice follow-up question, and 165 of them said they had had sex in a park. The next most popular option was a beach (21%, 138 votes) and then an alley (6%, 42 votes).
The majority of folks (308 votes, 48%) voted “none of the above,” which leads us to the write-in votes:
Where Vancouverites Are Having Sex in Public
Our write-in portion could be answered anonymously or non-anonymously, so there was really no reason for anyone to lie... but still, we’re not making any promises of truth here. Here’s the results of the write-in votes (41 people answered).
1. Stanley Park
This was our most popular answer, but specific location varied: The Teahouse parking lot, a bench on the seawall, and the forest next to the aquarium all made the list.
2. Wreck Beach
Our second most popular answer—one could argue that this makes sense given there’s one less step to take (clothing removal). The next three answers were all tied in terms of votes, so we’re listing them in order of how shocking they are:
This is a stock image, so don't go trying to find the Vancouver restaurant. Photo from Unsplash.
3. The bathroom of a restaurant or bar
This was about the point in the survey where those conducting it (me) were beginning to regret it. I feel like I probably shouldn’t share exact locations, so here’s a few hints: a popular downtown teppanyaki chain, a Commercial drive sushi restaurant and a Coal Harbour café. One individual surveyed simply answered “most of the dive bars in downtown Vancouver,” which sounds like the blanket claim of a liar to me.
Photo from Unsplash.
4. On a patio, balcony or rooftop
Answers in this category included apartment rooftops (sort of public), hotel patios (private, but with a view) and condo balconies (again, technically private?) plus one “rooftop patio of a business next to the Skytrain.”
Photo from Unsplash.
5. In (or on) a car
No surprises that this was a popular answer, too—specifics included the parking lots at Jericho beach, Stanley Park, Metrotown Mall and Superstore. “Public parking lot on a stranger’s car” was also an answer. Try not to think about that.
And finally, our favourite part.
The Weirdest Places Vancouverites Have Had Sex in Public
Here were the most bizarre answers we received.
The Van Deusen Gardens hedge maze.
Watch out for stray leaves.
Sir Winston Churchill high school grad staircase.
This one was so hyper-specific we're certain it must be considered one of their proudest moments.
A picnic table on the Arbutus Greenway.
Not just for cycling!
On Hwy 86 after Expo 86.
Okay, so this almost 40-year-old memory isn't really representative of an "updated" public sex survey, but it's definitely worth noting that someone did it on an absurdist art installation.
Behind a church.
Where God can't see you?
A Shaughnessy park.
Parks were common, sure, but this one was extra-pointed: "there's a park in Shaughnessy that i've done it in because i hate rich people :)"
The first peak of the Stawamus Chief.
Honestly, you totally earned that.
Out of bounds at Cypress Mountain.
Again, earned, but pretty damn dangerous.
Bathroom of BC Place Stadium.
Not to be judgemental, but this was one of our grossest answers, you dirty dog.
On the ferris wheel at the PNE.
That must have been pretty quick.
On the bus.
We honestly hope this one is a lie.