They’re Practically Giving Champagne Away!

The casual fine dining chains are duking it out on midweek wine prices—and you're the lucky beneficiary.

The casual fine dining chains are duking it out on midweek wine prices—and you’re the lucky beneficiary.

There are a few certainties in this crazy world. South Surrey residents will emphasize the south part when you ask them where they live. Men who unironically sport goatees will always wear off-brand fleece jackets. And Champagne is expensive. But what if I told you that the last rule doesn’t apply in our city on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and sometimes Thursdays? Is that something you might be interested in? Would that rock your world? It should, because the casual fine dining chains that typify so much of our dining have lost their mind when it comes to half-priced wine deals and the savvy among us (that’s all of you reading this btw) can score some real bubbles for real cheap. 

The Establishment: JOEYThe Deal: 50% off wine every WednesdayThe Steal: Dom Perignon is $378, so you get it for $179. It’s $230 at the BCLDB. That’s a saving of $51 off retail! Read that again…off retail! If I was an enterprising young fella with some moxie, I’d buy a case and set up a Champagne stand on the streets of Shaughnessy. And less you think that’s a blip, the Pol Roger Cuvee de Reserve $126, so $63 on Wednesday and it’s $70 at the BCLDB. Seriously, this is arbitrage territory! The Establishment: Cactus ClubThe Deal: 50% off every Tuesday & WednesdayThe Steal: On the plus side we now have two nights (although no Wednesday at Coal Harbour for some reason), on the downside the Dom is $460, which means after the discount you’re getting it at cost. (See how quickly one becomes jaded? “At cost” is a phrase heretofore never uttered in relation to wine in this entire province). For the deal here you have to go small, as in the Philipponat Royal Reserve Brut ($155), that’s $77.50 after the discount, which for a wine that’s routinely over $100 at retail is a major steal. You’re a first-class dolt if you don’t take advantage of this. The Establishment: EarlsThe Deal: 50% off every TuesdayThe Steal: Dom’s now $488, so you’re paying $14 over retail. What the hell is this, Mar-a Lago? They do also have Pierre Paillard Bouzy Grand Cru, which is lovely Champagne and with the discount is only $75.50 a bottle, a steal by any standard, but still $12.50 over retail. Jesus, Earls—didn’t you get the memo on losing money on Champagne? The Establishment: Mahony & SonsThe Deal: 50% off every Wednesday (weirdly only after 6 p.m.).The Steal: Everybody’s fave Veuve Cliquot makes an appearance and with the discount it’s $57.50. Canadian. That’s not even pricey and it’s $12.50 below retail. And they also sell Moet for $55 and that’s $13 less than retail. Geez, Mahony & Sons, maybe I’ve been wrong about you all these years. I used to think that…well never mind what I used to think. What’s important is what I think now: you’re beautiful people with big hearts (but only after 6 p.m. on Wednesdays).