I Am a Man. I Wear Sockettes. These Are The Best Ones.

We live in such crazy times these days that carefully crafting your persona seems like a dumb way to spend your time. So in the spirit of the legions of women who have proudly ditched their hair dye and embraced their true colour, I, as well, have a confession to make.

I wear sockettes.

I have for years. Once June arrives (by which I mean May) and shorts become a welcome staple, out go the normal socks and in come those invisible little fellas that give the illusion of being a carefree sockless bon vivant with the comfort and responsibility of being the opposite of a sockless bob vivant. They’re such a magnificent invention that I’m hard-pressed to figure out why there would be any sort of stigma attached to them. Socks with sandals—that deserves a stigma. But sockettes?

If there’s any issue, it should be with performance—finding ones that work is no small feat. It has to do with needing maximum stretch in a minimum of surface space because as any fellow sockette wearer knows if you don’t have the stretch, the sockette slide off your heel and then, well, all hell breaks loose, in the hosiery sense.

So when I found these sweet little numbers from Vancouver’s Reigning Champ I was in heaven. They’re tight and snug, without being too tight and snug. The disappear as required and are just thick enough that they actually work as socks. They’re the best. That being said, I have a few disclosures for you.

Number #1: I didn’t buy my three pairs at Reigning Champ. I found mine at a TJ Maxx in Palm Springs, where they were $4 US, not the $14.50 CDN that they are here. But having now owned them and loved them dearly, $14.50 seems a very fair price.

Number #2: they’re sold out at Reigning Champ for a brief moment. This is clearly because they’re so awesome and word is spreading. But I reached out to RC and they’ve confirmed they’ll be back in stock soon – in time for prime appearance of socklessness season. Also their socks are produced in collaboration with Canadian company Stance, and they do have sockettes in stock (they use the term “no show” presumably out of shame) but even on sale they’re more pricey than the RC ones and nowhere near as cool. Worse – when you click on “no show” you’re immediately taken to women’s section.

It’s hard out there for the male sockette wearer.