The Bite: There’s Never Been a Better Time to Try This Stoner Biscuit

Is being this baked legal? You’re going to want to risk it for these biscuits.

Say what you will about healthy food trends: sometimes, one has a hunger that açai and chia seeds simply can’t satisfy. Whether you missed breakfast, caught a nasty hangover, or perhaps have a substance-fueled desire for eats, nothing quells a craving quite like a deep-fried, salty, or sweet snack.I am not ashamed to admit that I consider carbohydrates some of my dearest friends. So after a wild Saturday evening (bowling, plus a late-night drugstore trip because my roommate needed tin foil) I was pumped to try the colossal biscuit sandwiches from Chewie’s Biscuit Company. This sweet-and-savoury spot opened just a few weeks ago, and the menu is what munchie dreams are made of. Each creation, from a panko-crusted cod to a pizza-esque handheld, is snuggled between two halves of a warm buttermilk biscuit. I tried three of their most unique eats, and I’m reporting back with a significantly lighter spirit and tighter waistband.

Moose Biscuit, $12

This goliath of a biscuit is Chewie’s most popular creation so far. Made with a deep-fried chicken breast, sausage gravy, cheese, bacon, and an egg, it’s truly a sight for sore eyes. Despite its status as a breakfast staple, cooking a flawless sunny-side up egg is no easy task – but the egg on this biscuit was glossy perfection. The fried chicken was crunchy on the outside, juicy on the inside, and thin enough that it complimented the other components of the biscuit without transforming it into a chicken sandwich. However, the gravy was the real star of this show. Thick, creamy, and expertly placed (its location between the egg and cheese prevented the biscuit from being soggy); it was a welcome saucy finish for this hulking buttermilk beast. The gravy, bacon and chicken combined make the Moose a pretty salty snack, so sodium-cynics, beware.

Stoner Biscuit, $10

Don’t get too excited – this biscuit is named for its stone-ground mustard. Actually, forget that. Get very excited. Like the Moose, the Stoner biscuit is made with a fried chicken breast: also crunchy, also juicy. Unlike the Moose, this biscuit comes dressed in the aforementioned stone-ground mustard, honey, and bread and butter pickles. This was the least complex of the biscuits I sampled, and the simpler aspects were the ones I enjoyed the most. The chicken was a major player in this mighty sandwich, and the sweetness of the honey made an awesome pair with the salty pickles. The buttery, flaky biscuit held its own in this creation. I’d definitely call this one a do-over, a testament to the biscuit’s flavour wizardry (I don’t actually like pickles – am I allowed to say that?) and overall crunchy texture.

Davis Biscuit, $11

If you’re thinking, Hey Alyssa, this article is supposed to be about strange and wacky foods and those last two biscuits were technically not out-of-this-world bonkers enough, perhaps you should take advantage of our new era of legality and relax a bit. Also, take a look at the Davis. This biscuit takes sweet and salty to new heights, with a homemade sausage patty and sunny-side up egg sandwiched in a biscuit prepared French-toast style and drenched in maple syrup. The cheeky union of French toast and biscuit is a great vehicle for the sausage patty and egg. Though the sunny-side up style egg is what gave this biscuit its wacky aesthetic, the mixture of the warm yolk and maple syrup is a strange combination – but hey, you asked for it. Overall, this biscuit is great to share, but for most would be a bit too rich to tackle all on your own. No matter your appetite, these flaky creations are definitely worth the trip.Chewie’s Biscuit Company, 2822 W 4th Ave., chewiesbiscuitco.com

The Bite is a monthly column that sees writer Alyssa Hirose sampling the city’s weirdest, coolest and most tantalizing plates. For more food news, subscribe to our newsletter!