We Surveyed Vancouver’s Hygiene Habits: Here Are the Biggest Surprises

Our recent survey on where Vancouverites like to have sex in public was, unsurprisingly, very popular. After some thrilling stats (40% of the 900 respondents said they’d have public sex) and disturbing write-in answers (the bathroom of BC Place stadium, barf) I started thinking: what’s next? What topic, besides sex, will inspire Vancouverites to share their most intimate secrets? 

The answer, of course, was a different kind of dirty. How long do Vancouverites brush their teeth for? How many people are actually washing their feet? Who pees in the shower? I’d like to thank all of the survey respondents for their bravery in submitting their honest answers, and I’d also like everyone to thank me for the bravery it took to read them. So, without further ado, here are the results of Vanmag’s first-ever hygiene survey. 

Just kidding, there’s a bit of ado. These survey results are likely not scientifically accurate and are meant for entertainment purposes only (academics, this is not the place to go for your thesis). The survey was conducted over Instagram for all @vanmag_com followers, and there’s no proof that all respondents live in Vancouver, though we assume most of our followers do. Also, everyone who answered could have been lying. So don’t take this too seriously. 

A final note: hygiene is a privilege! Access to clean water and toothbrushes and all that good stuff isn’t a given, so read the following with care (except the one person who said they pee in the shower with their unsuspecting partner present, they can go straight to hell).

Vancouver Hygiene Survey Results 

18% of Vancouverites never floss. 

Our 658 respondents to the question “How often do you floss” were actually quite evenly spread: 212 said every day, 195 said 2-3 times a week, 130 said a few times a month and 121 said basically never.  

56% of Vancouverites brush their teeth for the full two minutes. 

What we lack in flossing habits we make up for in brushing—of the 644 respondents, 375 said they “always” brush for the full two minutes. 228 (34%) said “sometimes” and 61 (9%) said “basically never.” 

About half of Vancouverites don’t bother using those paper toilet seat covers, even if they’re available. 

Who has the time? 46% of the 679 respondents said they never use the paper covers. 25% (168 people) said they use them sometimes, and 29% (196 people) said they use them always. 

95% of Vancouverites wash their hands for the recommended 20 seconds. 

After the pandemic we’ve had? Yeah, this makes sense. 47% of respondents said they always wash their hands for 20 seconds, and 48% said they occasionally do. Only 5% of people admitted to never washing their hands for the full 20 seconds.  

29% of Vancouverites pee in the shower “basically every time.” 

I find this statistic so repulsively hilarious (no hate to shower-pee-ers, but every time?), and extra props to all the folks who answered this honestly. Of the 669 people who answered this question, 36% said they never pee in the shower and 36% said they occasionally pee in the shower. And yes, a whopping 191 folks surveyed said they pee in the shower, every shower. 

43% of Vancouverites don’t specifically wash their feet. 

I don’t find this super gross until taking into account the above statistic—please do not be in the Venn diagram of peeing in the shower and not washing your feet. 57% of survey respondents said they do wash their feet, and the rest said they just let the water/soap run over them. 

Vancouver Hygiene Confessions 

After the survey, I also gave respondents a chance to write in their hygiene confessions anonymously, which I think was probably one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in my adult life. Read with caution. 

“I reuse my dental floss until it breaks and I have to throw it out.”
Three different respondents answered some variation of this, and I actually think it’s a great idea. Save the planet! 

“I pick my nose and eat it. I’m 40.”
This is not a great idea and one of the answers that made me want to delete Instagram altogether. 

“My gym has really nice body wash/shampoo/face wash and every so often I help myself to fill my take-home bottles.”
Brag alert! I support this. Unless you’re a gym reading this, in which case, I hate this idea! 

“I used my hubby’s razor one time to shave down there. Never told him.”
Kind of seems like a breach of trust. That is, until you read the next one. 

“I pee in the shower even when my partner is in there too. And I don’t tell them.”
Let’s not do this. Also, how is this possible? (Rhetorical. Don’t tell me.) 

“I really only change my sheets if they are visibly dirty.”
This was also a super popular response—other folks said they wash their sheets less than once a month, or only change their linens if they’re expecting a… sleepover. 

“I almost never wash produce.”
Also a popular response. 

“I only wash under the arms and private bits with soap.”
I took this to mean that this person gets in the shower, stands under the water, washes their armpits and genitals with soap and then calls it a day. Sounds speedy and largely ineffective. 

“I blow my nose into my hand when I’m in the shower.”
I’ll leave you with that.